Tea Party: Part 1

Here I am, again, attempting to be the best person that I can be. I know everyone says that and yeah, it is totally cliche, but believe me when I say this, I am going to do it right this time. So to the many blessed, beautiful, lucky and oh so very fortunate people who already know me, and also to those who haven't been fortuitous enough to meet me yet, welcome to my journey. Let me catch y'all up... So you know how we all want to have a new year resolution, and give ourselves a goal to accomplish by the end of the year? Like many others, mine was to lose weight. The last three years, it has been my ongoing battle. My weight went up and down 20 lbs to where I could not keep it off for the life of me; so I finally buckled down, and did what I needed to do. Guys, I went and hired a personal trainer, and I was in the kitchen meal prepping every Monday. I even drank apple cider vinegar every morning. I posted weekly snapchat stories of my meal plan, and some friends even had me cooking for them! I was dedicated...or at least the most dedicated I've been when it comes to taking care of my body since my dancer days... (Don't ask... yes I spent 12 years of my life dancing) At the time, I finally started to feel and see progress, and I don't mean just the way I looked. I truly began to love myself again. Around April 2017, I started slacking off. I stopped meal prepping some weeks, or I would eat things that weren't in my meal plan...such as In&out burger. Sleeping in started to sound better than working out and meeting with my trainer at 7am. I'm sure he was ready to let me go after all the times I bailed anyway especially when missing three sessions turned into not going to the gym at all. Going out to the clubs with my girls every other night and taking last minute trips to Vegas was too lit until I realized all of the weight that I worked so hard to lose was back. I sit here now, in October 2017 looking back at all of my old snap memories and seeing how motivated and genuinely happier I was, and I have to ask myself... What made me change my ways? Why could I not build on the progress I had worked so hard to do, to let it all go to waste? But more importantly, how can I get back there and go beyond that progress? I mean, a lot has changed from then to now, and it's not just my weight. For one, a lot the people I chose to surround myself were not allowing me to grow. I just turned 24, so maybe you understand the struggle of going out every night when you know you shouldn't. Half of the time, I just didn't want to let my friends down. I wanted to go out, take those snapchat videos and send them to my crush in hopes that me going out, dressing up would impress him, but what about what would impress myself? I'm a people pleaser, and that often causes me to become a push over too. So anyway, obviously I couldn't grow and move forward when I was choosing to go out and hear March Madness( my favorite song) on repeat. So since then, I've cut negativity and toxicity from my life, as well as cutting back on going out. Two, because I was choosing to live this lifestyle, it put a strain on my relationship with my family. So that resulted in me moving out, for the second time. Now I'm renting a room, and paying my bills and doing that whole adult-life hustle. And third, in the midst of all of this chaos, I lost myself. I let these things begin to define me. I became that girl that goes out every night and puts it all on snap. Thats not me. I was a mess, well I am a mess. A hot mess. But lately I have gotten in a good rhythm when it comes to my friendships and my family. I understand that, health wise, I am not where I should be....therefore serious changes need to be made. So, I sit here opening up to you guys, and being 100% honest to show you guys that I am not perfect. This is me spilling all my tea, and exposing myself so I can truly change my ways and be the best Adey that I can be. And don't start to feel some type of way if you see something about you that you don't like cause this is about me, not you. Welcome to my journey